I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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