i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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