Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My liver just had a heart attack.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize