did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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