Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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