Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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