You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
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I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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