The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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