I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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