If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
