I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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