He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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