i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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