i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Apparently you make a good broom.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
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In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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