i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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