I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
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Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
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You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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