I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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