I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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