It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
why is half of my head shaved?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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