Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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