We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
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We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
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Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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