After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize