I met the friendliest cop last night
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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