She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize