Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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