you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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