i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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