lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize