he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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