Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
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It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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