Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize