There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
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Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
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You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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