he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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