Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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