dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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