Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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