We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
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