I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
