don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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