I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize