I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize