im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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