If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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