he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize