Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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