you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
