You really coming over, don't trick.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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