i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize