I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
porn star boner night. come get it.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
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I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
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And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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