He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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