ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize